By in Mindfulness

How to See Life from Another Person’s Point of View

In the classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird, the character Atticus Finch explains to his young daughter how important it is to see life from the perspective of others. “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view,” he says, “until you climb in his skin and walk around in it”.

But for many people, this is far easier said than done.

It is natural to rely on our own perspectives as we navigate our lives, parts of which can be messy and complicated. It is also temptingly easy to underestimate how different people can view the same event or situation in vastly different ways.

(As a quick example, think about a skill that comes naturally to you. Do you find it hard to imagine that someone else might struggle with the same skill? Be honest!)

The work I do as a coach and therapist means I regularly need to see things from different perspectives – if I couldn’t, my clients wouldn’t want to work with me. Because of this, people sometimes ask me for advice about how to really put themselves into somebody else’s shoes.

I advise them to start by viewing the bigger picture.

In other words, try to get out of your own head and take the blinkers off.

You can do this by staying curious about other people’s lives, experiences, and opinions, whilst rejecting any judgements that may start to form in your mind. Try to remember that just because somebody else thinks differently from you, it doesn’t automatically mean that you are ‘right’ and they are ‘wrong’ – or vice versa.

If it helps, a less emotionally charged example involves thinking about what a group of people might say about how they take their coffee. Some will like it with milk, some prefer it black, and others may choose a cup of tea instead! These are just different personal preferences and there’s no such thing as right or wrong.

Think about how the other person would most like to be treated.

I often think the so-called Golden Rule: “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is misleading, because it assumes that we all like to be treated in exactly the same way.

In reality, this is not the case: something we can tell just by looking at the way different customers respond to different levels of service from the companies they deal with. One person’s compliment is another person’s complaint, and it is impossible to please everybody.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

It can feel uncomfortable to ‘try on’ perspectives and opinions that differ hugely from your own. Genuinely stepping into somebody else’s shoes is difficult, especially if it’s something you haven’t tried before.

So please, go easy on yourself – and remember, the fact that you are trying to see life from another person’s point of view is a kind and compassionate act in itself.

Louise is a wellness therapist, embodiment coach, clinical hypnotherapist, teacher of meditation and teacher of the Realisation Process (RP). For further information or to book a treatment phone Louise on 01702 714968 or contact us to book an appointment.

Louise
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