By in Psychotherapy

The Thing About Pain

We all know about pain. And we all can possibly agree that there are many different kinds of pain. We all experience all sorts of different kinds of pain throughout our life. Some we can put up with, some we can’t. Some feel very threatening, some we can ignore. Some go away on their own, some do not. Much of pain is physical, just as much of pain is emotional.

All pain, regardless of whether we identify it as physical or emotional are on some level the same. All pain, regardless of whether you are grieving a lost loved one, or whether you have an illness, causing you physical pain, happens in the nervous system.

When we have an injury in our body, it is nerves in the area that will signal to us that something is wrong by making us feel pain. Sometimes, when we are suffering from pain and are seeking all the painkillers we can get, this may be useful to remember. It is not the pain itself, that is a threat to us. It is merely a messenger that is letting us know that there is an issue we may want to attend to, for our own good.

When we are experiencing emotional pain this is no different. We might grieve over something, we might suffer from anxiety and fear or depression. These feelings are a form of pain and it is nerves of a different area of our nervous system, that let us know that something is not right for us. We may be missing someone who made us feel safe and loved. We might be frightened for our or a loved one’s safety. It is nerves telling us something is wrong. Perhaps that is where the phrase “Ill with nerves” comes from?

Often it is when physical pain persists without anything physical being objectively wrong, or way after an injury has healed, that we really start having an issue with pain. Likewise, it is when we experience frequent anxiety attacks or live with long term depression that seems to appear without any obvious reason, that we feel powerless and a serious impact on our lives.

Because how can we endure this persisting pain, if we do not know what it is trying to tell us and how to respond to it? It can feel like someone is permanently shouting at us, making us contract, shrink and hide, and never understanding what is being said and what we can do to fight it or work it out. It is hard to engage with pain like that. We need to do this slowly and carefully in order to move forward.

According to Maggie Phillips, clinical Psychologist and author of the books “Freedom from Pain” and “Reversing Chronic Pain”, all chronic physical pain comes with emotional pain and vice versa. It is a circle and needs to be addressed with an intervention that considers our body and mind equally.

We may develop physical pain not through an injury, but through chronic stress of some kind. The manifestation of physical pain, on top of having to manage stress on a daily basis, can be tough and, if unresolved, is likely going to cause further emotional distress and pain. Likewise, if we suffer with long term anxiety or depression we may develop chronic pain in our body.

It is also very common, to experience an injury through a distressing event, such as a car accident. At first, we may find ourselves shaken up by the event, and experience physical pain from the physical injury. But as the injury heals, trauma and pain may persist. Sometimes the cause is not as obvious as a car accident. As mentioned above it may be prolonged stress of some sort that causes trauma and similar pain symptoms than a car accident.

In our society, it can be hard to get understanding and empathy for pain that has no obvious cause. It is even harder to find help and a way forward in tackling the problem.

Somatic Experiencing and Somatic Movement Therapies focus on these kinds of problems. These modalities consider the body and the mind equally and approach physical and emotional pain together via creating change on a nervous system level. An important part of the work is to acknowledge the pain-related symptoms as a messenger that has something important to say to us, as well as finding ways to manage and sooth it in the short term. The pace with which this is done is important. It may not be a quick fix if the pain has been around a long time. We have to engage with the symptoms slowly to understand their message and negotiate, without overwhelming us. We need to allow space and time for new neurological patterns to form and to find a way out of the pain cycle.

Here are a few useful points to remember if you are suffering from chronic physical and or emotional pain.

  1. Regardless of what kind of pain you are in, your first point of call should be your GP. It may be an easy fix after all and you want to make sure to rule out any serious threat.
  2. Any pain regardless of how random and unexplained it may seem has a cause, which means you can do something about it.
  3. If you suffer from emotional pain it may help you to remember that what you are feeling is just as much a physical response of your body as physical pain would be. It may not be so visible and clear to understand, but you are not going mad and you are not weak. You have a form of injury, just like any visible physical injury.
  4. If you suffer from chronic physical pain, as well as anxiety, burn out or depression, know that all of these symptoms are very likely linked and you might want to seek intervention that can address all together as one.
  5. Remember that physical pain, depression, anxiety and so on are symptoms that are designed to make you aware of something being wrong. It is up to you to decide if you want to or can live with the “wrong” or if you want to do something about it and seek a way to self-care and well-being.
  6. If people make you feel that you are making it up, they are wrong and you have a right to support.

If you would like to explore an approach that equally addresses your physical and emotional pain, please contact Kristin at The Body Matters on 01702 714968.

Kristin Loeer
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