01 June 2018 By Jonathan Gibbs at The Body Matters in Hypnotherapy

Affirmations

An affirmation that is well known in the world of Hypnotherapy is that of French Psychologist Émile Coué: “Every day, and in every way, I am becoming better and better”.

Affirmations are phrases which we can repeat to ourselves, which set an intention for how we want to be. The idea is that this positive self-talk will, through repetition, take root in the subconscious and become reality. Negative beliefs about oneself are cancelled out.

When Katie Piper visited Southend’s Palace theatre this April as part of her ‘What’s in my head’ tour, she spoke about affirmations that she had collected as contributing significantly to her recovery. She wrote the ones that resonated most strongly with her and had them on display in her home. She has actually had a book published that contains 365 such affirmations, one for every day of the year!

Probably better known than Émile Coué’s affirmation is that of Yoda from Star Wars: “Do. Or do not. There is no try”.

Interestingly, in the world of therapy this affirmation is interesting. When we use the word ‘try’, the suggestion is that the task in hand is difficult, or something that will be a struggle. “Try to stay calm”, “Try to smile”, “Try not to hit your brother” etc.

Stage hypnotists may use phrases like “Try to pull your hands apart”, whilst telling participants that the harder they try to do this, the more they will feel like their hands are glued together. ‘Try’ then, is not a great word to use when encouraging yourself or others to do something!

Helpful affirmations tend to be positive, a negative affirmation being something like “I am not an angry person” or “I am not a failure”. Unfortunately, this fails to plant in the subconscious anything about the way the person does want to be. In fact, even worse, an affirmation like this actually reminds the person of how they don’t want to be! This mechanism works in the same way that if someone tells us “not to think of an elephant”, we can’t help but think of an elephant. If someone says “Don’t think of the big toe on your right foot” we start to think of it, even though we weren’t thinking of it at all up to that point. Thinking for a moment of the big toe and your right foot is unlikely to mess up our life, but constantly thinking of oneself as a failure or as an angry person might.

There is another word that can be used to great effect: ‘but’. The word ‘but’ can be used positively, to reframe those negative thoughts that run through our heads. For example, a statement such as “I’d love to write a novel, but I never have the time”, might be re-stated as “I never have much time, but I am going to write a novel”. Here the word ‘but’ becomes a word of possibility, rather than a word that marks the abrupt and permanent end of a desire.

To arrange a free first session to discuss how you are affected by negative thoughts, you can contact Jonathan at The Body Matters on 01702 714968.